if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm at about main and main street
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
