the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Randomize