yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
