Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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