I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
