smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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