I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
