Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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