Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
