Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My pussy is not your playground.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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