That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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