I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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