I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
4 words: hood of his car
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
ttyl tear gas
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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