I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
