OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
