I want to make a zoo with you.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
