I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize