He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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