Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
