haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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