i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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