New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
