Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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