how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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