fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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