Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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