Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(712): View more from Iowa

I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.

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(408): View more from California

Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.

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(419): View more from Ohio

So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...

(1-910): View more from North Carolina

Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!

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