come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
