so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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