We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
