I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
