How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
