i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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