Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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