guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
