Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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