So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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