did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
