brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
this is an emotional support booty call
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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