She said her name was "party"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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