So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Who died my cat blue again?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
