love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
