i just had sex bonerless
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
