They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
