So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
