guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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