my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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