Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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