i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
