you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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