I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
