i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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