Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
