as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
