Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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