After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
