if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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