Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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